Friday, November 11, 2005

great blue propane clustered lanterns

it was 36 degrees this morning when i went to work and the barnswallow was cold. it is a barn after all. soon the owners will hook up the wood stove and i'll have to build a fire in it each morning. i think that's really quaint. but today we had the proprane heater going. this is kind of like sharing the room with a rocket. really loud and spitting flame.

at one point i stepped outside to turn off the propane tank which was emitting a horrible stink. as i opened the door a great blue heron flew from its spot just a couple of yards away. it had been hanging out by the brook that winds by the barn. it flew away from me and then gave me another thrill by turning around and flying overhead before disappearing into the distance. i was so in love.

and there were customers! one woman bought a necklace for $275. and another woman bought a wall lamp for $185. i can't even imagine spending that much money on pretty things.

after picking up tashi from school we had to kill time for a bit because we soon had to return to school for an autumnal potluck and lantern walk. we went to the greenwood greengrocer, a gourmet grocery store/deli/espresso bar in the middle of nowhere. we opted for dark chocolate coated raspberry ice cream bars, organic mind you. then we took a bit of a drive up toward the shenandoah national forest and then down a windy mountain road through a quaint village called afton. we reached a sort of valley and i was just blown away by mountains mountains mountains mountains everywhere! don't get me wrong, they're not granite sprouting snow pointed mountains. but soft rolling thick lovable mountains covered in gold and orange and umber. they feel like friends.

we drove a sort of loop and ended up back in greenwood where we stopped at the country store, an antique shop where anyone can rent a shelf and have like a permanent yard sale.

and then we drove back to the school in crozet where there was a kick ass potluck and lantern walk. i ate lasagne and quiche and ravioli and kale and salad and sesame noodles and apple sauce and pumpkin cupcakes. the kids walked and sang songs and carried beautiful carved out tin can lanterns with candles inside.

and then tashi yelled with great venom at me the whole way home because she felt her class had plotted against her and left her out of the circle of children singing songs at the end of the walk. i told her that i felt her sadness, but tried to explain to her that there was no circle, just a jumbled group of bobbing kids with no organization what-so-ever. she simply hadn't pushed her way into the jumble. but she was convinced the class had a secret plan to exclude her and that they were all to blame for the fact that she was on the outskirts and that i didn't care. it was depressing and infuriating and frustrating and i had to struggle to remain sympathetic yet rational. one of those moments when you wish the perfect parental words of wisdom will just flow forth and sedate your kid-gone-bonkers.

when we got home i drew her a diagram of what the circle really looked like (many dots randomly placed in a cluster) versus the perfect circle she thought she'd been shut out of (many dots forming, yes, a perfect circle). suddenly, it all seemed to click. she realized that all the kids had someone in front of them or behind them and that she wasn't the only one on the outskirts. and she realized that no one was to blame, but that it simply just hadn't gone the way she wished it had.

and so we had a breakthrough lovefest followed by a snack of frozen corn kernels (what can i say, my kid likes to eat frozen corn kernels), bedtime stories, lullabies, hugs, kisses and easy sleep (after getting up once or twice for this or that). phew.

who says parental wisdom can't come in diagrams.

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