today i had my second round of interviews for a somewhat high powered full time job. shortly thereafter i was offered the job. and i accepted.
i have been all over the map with jobs since i graduated from college a million years ago. i’m a certified CMT, a trained doula and i’ve studied herbal medicine with several amazing mentors. i’ve worked in the book industry, in the health food industry, in some public schools and in some private offices. after the birth of my child i tried my best to spend as much time at home with her as possible. i nursed her for three and half years and never had a single night away from her until she was five. i think she trusts me now enough to let me go a little.
despite all my training and interest in the healing arts, i’ve been unsuccessful at getting my own practices going. i’m at a point in my life now where i crave something steady, something challenging, something professional, something that ties together my many skills and something that will teach me new skills. i also wish to take the pressure off of dan who has been the main bread winner for so long.
i have some trepidation about this job. as dan said right before my interview today: it’s a win win situation. if you get the job, it will be a great new challenge. if you don’t get the job, you won’t have to bother with it.
i'm concerned about the learning curve, being able to rise to the challenge of this job. i’m concerned about childcare and being less available to my daughter. i’m concerned about the lack of time i’ll have for my creative passions. but i’ve also been concerned about our finances, my feelings of stagnation, my lack of ambition. and so not only is this job a gift to my family’s well-being, i view it as a great opportunity to learn things that might help me in the future to deliver my passions to the world with more skills and confidence.
today, right after i got the call announcing that the job is mine if i want it, i sat outside on our front stoop and watched a hawk circle above our house. i pulled out my animal oracle deck and the card face up and waiting for me was the hawk.
“when you have a sense of your roots and of the breadth of your life, you will start to feel pride and a growing sense of nobility and stature. once you know where you have come from and where you are going, your life will be filled with inspiration and enthusiasm, you will sense a new day dawning, and you will be able to make decisions with confidence.”
it is time to soar.