tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-101023122024-03-07T03:55:32.148-05:00vale of evening fognotes from my twilight realmzoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.comBlogger1325125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-38545540199280159412019-01-06T13:05:00.000-05:002019-01-06T13:27:23.160-05:00december songs, week four<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>the <a href="https://valeofeveningfog.blogspot.com/2017/12/" target="_blank">last two decembers</a> i've challenged myself to <a href="https://valeofeveningfog.blogspot.com/2016/12/" target="_blank">posting a song or artist per day </a>for the month. this year i'm choosing weekly digests. so here is december songs, week four, girl power edition, one week into january, 2019: </i></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">when i hear a song i like i take note of it</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">i
follow up by investigating online and seeing where it leads. sometimes i
realize i don't want to hear the song again. but more often than not,
it becomes a new fascination.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">these december songs are some of the songs from my notes, but also some others</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">many of these songs i've heard on the radio––while listening at home, or on my frequent drives to and from charlottesville</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">some are old favorites</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">many are still new, something fascinating to hold to the light</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">some i over-listen to </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">maybe this is my unfolding play list? or mix tape? </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />i'm sharing it with you. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.catpowermusic.com/" target="_blank">cat power</a> // horizon</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/p7VONUZPYXY" width="560"></iframe></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(i remember the day cat power's voice filled the hallowed halls of people's food coop in ann arbor, where i was working when someone stuck her cd in the sound system. it was love at first hear. her new album, wanderer, is quite beautiful in its entirety. it was really hard for me to settle on one song. i also really adore "woman" and "stay." you can listen to the whole thing without commercials on <a href="https://catpower.bandcamp.com/album/wanderer" target="_blank">bandcamp</a>. then buy it.)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tierra_Whack" target="_blank">tierra whack</a> // whack world</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/EOTebhPy04g" width="560"></iframe></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(i heard her for the first time on––you guessed it––wtju, and repeatedly on fave show, radio freedonia. a series of amazing one minute songs accompanying a must-see reel of short masterful videos. watch it. love it. repeat.)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="http://goatgirl.co.uk/" target="_blank">goat girl</a> // cracker drool</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/FSpzsO1RDTM" width="560"></iframe></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(i pretty much want to be part of a girl band and this is pretty much it. looking forward to listening to them more and often.)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://thieverycorporation.com/artist/racquel-jones/" target="_blank">raquel jones & thievery corp</a> // letter to the editor</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/KahPH6oc12I" width="560"></iframe></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(i heard this recently on another fave wtju radio show, reggae vibrations. when the clock struck midnight on new years eve and i opened one eye from my horizontal position, i made every effort to pull this song up on my phone, stream it to the speaker, and start the new year with it. and i succeeded after a couple of false starts and some yelling from the peanut gallery of children, who were really the only alert ones in the room)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://threelobed.bandcamp.com/album/ghost-forests" target="_blank">mary lattimore & meg baird</a> // fair annie</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/WupnMk7DtoI" width="560"></iframe></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(i first saw <a href="https://megbaird.bandcamp.com/music" target="_blank">meg baird</a> in the summer of 2017, open for steve gunn. i fell deeply in love with her. she performed this song, solo, and i believe she said it was the first time she'd played it live. it was incredibly powerful. and then she and <a href="https://marylattimoreharpist.bandcamp.com/" target="_blank">mary lattimore</a>, who i learned about in 2018 and am also deeply in love with, released this blissful collaboration, <a href="https://threelobed.bandcamp.com/album/ghost-forests" target="_blank">ghost forests</a>, which includes "fair annie." thrilling. and yea, once again, you can listen to it on bandcamp fully commercial free. but buy it too.)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://pipblom.bandcamp.com/music" target="_blank">pip blom</a> // i think i'm in love</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/yWF3TsUYx6Y" width="560"></iframe> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(her name is pip blom and her band's name is pip blom. there is not a lot out there yet by them, but i can't wait for more) </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.sharonvanetten.com/" target="_blank">sharon van etten</a> // comeback kid</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/h4mewwymxbI" width="560"></iframe><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(i'm pretty sure sharon van etten has shown up in past december songs. i was in richmond the other day and loving the urban vibe, when i walked into an awesome indie bookstore and sharon van etten was blasting over the speaker (followed by yo la tengo). so she is on my mind and she has some previews out there for a new album coming out soon. this one is good.)</span></span>zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-92140595246550587732018-12-26T11:47:00.000-05:002018-12-26T12:03:10.432-05:00december songs, week three<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>the <a href="https://valeofeveningfog.blogspot.com/2017/12/" target="_blank">last two decembers</a> i've challenged myself to <a href="https://valeofeveningfog.blogspot.com/2016/12/" target="_blank">posting a song or artist per day </a>for the month. this year i'm choosing weekly digests. so here is december songs, week three: </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">when i hear a song i like i take note of it</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">i
follow up by investigating online and seeing where it leads. sometimes i
realize i don't want to hear the song again. but more often than not,
it becomes a new fascination.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">these december songs are some of the songs from my notes, but also some others</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">many of these songs i've heard on the radio––while listening at home, or on my frequent drives to and from charlottesville</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">some are old favorites</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">many are still new, something fascinating to hold to the light</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">some i over-listen to </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">maybe this is my unfolding play list? or mix tape? </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">i'm sharing it with you. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.kaiakater.com/" target="_blank">kaia kater</a> // grenades</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/kRbswJwehBM" width="560"></iframe></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(another voice i heard on the radio one night driving home in my car. i looked her up right away and purchased her album, grenades, of which she says: </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">"Like many people, I have felt alone and out of place for most of my
life, stumbling forward blind and rootless. I wrote <i>Grenades</i> to trace the life line from my palm and find my way home." the album includes voice overs by her father telling tales of his childhood in grenada. kater also has a strong appalachian influence and plays banjo.)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://thebaberainbow.bandcamp.com/" target="_blank">the babe rainbow</a> // supermoon </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/NKBUrl5Yq84" width="560"></iframe></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(heard this summer, right around the super moon, appropriately. i like their trippy rambling upbeat sound, and the video is a happy silly thing.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://kinggizzard.bandcamp.com/" target="_blank">king gizzard and the lizard wizard</a> // the river</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PUZn1I6llJs" width="560"></iframe><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(speaking of australia. . . yes i've been hearing this band on wtju for years now. but it wasn't until i sat down one day at twisted branch tea bazaar, earbuds in, and listened to polygondwanaland from start to finish––which is a <a href="https://kinggizzard.bandcamp.com/album/polygondwanaland" target="_blank">free download on bandcamp</a> by the way––that i realized how totally mind bending they are. good stuff. don't wait as long as i did to listen more closely.)</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><a href="https://endlessboogie.bandcamp.com/" target="_blank">endless boogie</a> // imprecations</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/VkqC2SyW80U" width="560"></iframe></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">(another new to me band. i really dig this long and groovy psychedelic jam)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><a href="https://nakedgods.bandcamp.com/" target="_blank">naked gods</a> // rick danko (was an honest man)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tuVRAaAFe4c" width="560"></iframe></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">(i've seen the bumper stickers and heard talk of this local-not-local band. i've heard a song here and there on wtju and assisted at the print shop with the making of t-shirts for the singer's pizza shop in boone, nc. so yea, it's about time i familiarize myself with their music, even if i am late to the show. i like the way this song purrs along and then really punches it at the end. except i want it to keep going.)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://lucydacus.bandcamp.com/" target="_blank">lucy dacus</a> // nightshift</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope;
picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/clG75nviA1Y" width="560"></iframe></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(some
of my friends know that i have a remarkably lucky ticket winning
streak. i signed up for lucy dacus, not knowing much about her music,
but curious, particularly because my friend and boss-man at the print
shop was designing concert posters for her show at the jefferson. sure
enough, i won myself a pair tickets. it was a lovely show, better really
than i had anticipated. i have a poem series called nightshift that i
have been working on for several years now, so thought i'd share her
song of the same title.)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">heart of the ghost // heart of the ghost</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/385353908&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(another act i saw at low vintage, but this a lively avant jazz experience. so energizing and fresh. i used to see a lot of improv jazz when i lived in san francisco and so welcomed this ecstatic sound emerging between racks of old dresses and psychedelic shirts. tristan was with me that night and made some awesome sketches in his notebook. probably one of my favorite mother/son dates, even though, tired and over stimulated, he totally lost his shit on the way home.)</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"></span> zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-69882672150244155612018-12-20T22:46:00.000-05:002018-12-21T07:11:47.656-05:00december songs, week two<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>the <a href="https://valeofeveningfog.blogspot.com/2017/12/" target="_blank">last two decembers</a> i've challenged myself to <a href="https://valeofeveningfog.blogspot.com/2016/12/" target="_blank">posting a song or artist per day</a> for the month. this year i'm choosing weekly digests. so here is (a week late!) december songs, week two: </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">when i hear a song i like i take note of it</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">i
follow up by investigating online and seeing where it leads. sometimes i
realize i don't want to hear the song again. but more often than not,
it becomes a new fascination.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">these december songs are some of the songs from my notes, but also some others</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">many of these songs i've heard on the radio––while listening at home, or on my frequent drives to and from charlottesville</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">some are old favorites</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">many are still new, something fascinating to hold to the light</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">some i over-listen to </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">maybe this is my unfolding play list? or mix tape? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">i'm sharing it with you.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="http://www.richardthompson-music.com/" target="_blank">richard thompson</a> // 1952 vincent black lightning </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/k5V0RkCIaXo" width="560"></iframe> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(when i was fresh out of college in 1989, living in buffalo, and hoping to be a writer, i wrote a few pieces for "arts in buffalo" after the editor made me troll the streets for a couple of weeks trying to sell ads. it was clear sales were not my forte and he finally gave me a chance at writing. he asked me to interview <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Lombardo" target="_blank">john lombardo</a>, a former but founding member of the 10,000 maniacs. one afternoon, sitting in shafts of sunlight in lombardo's living room, he talked to me all about legendary producer joe boyd, who produced the maniacs first album, the wishing chair. this lead to a conversation about what bands influenced him most, one of those bands being fairport convention. he placed an lp on the record player and i was profoundly moved by the sound that emerged. this was my introduction to richard thompson & sandy denny and to that era of electric folk music, which also includes pentangle. to this day fairport convention and pentangle remain two of my favorite bands. in november i got to see richard thompson live for the first time. he played this song, among many others.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Star" target="_blank">big star</a> // my life is right</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/lyzJnHeA4lg" width="560"></iframe></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(i heard this song on the radio recently and even though i've had the recording for some time, it hit me in a fresh way and it's become one of those obsessive auto-repeat songs.)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://mckinleydixon.bandcamp.com/" target="_blank">mckinley dixon</a> // circle the block</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope;
picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/dXgzb8KgBT8" width="560"></iframe></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(i
saw him perform earlier in the year at the uva chapel and was impressed
by </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">his fusion of jazz and hip hop, </span>his charisma, his poetry, and his
band. relevant, complex, riveting)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://bolan-boogie.bandcamp.com/" target="_blank">marc bolan</a> (tyrannosaurus rex & t rex) // organ blues & cosmic dancer</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/T5yZQszaxZQ" width="560"></iframe></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GMfjA4gyEcU" width="560"></iframe></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(i have two videos here because i heard both songs for the first time recently, leading me to actually listen to t rex. we've all heard "bang a gong," but somehow i just never went any further. i heard cosmic dancer at a dj event recently and when told it was t rex, i was like, "of course." it was clear. but still, i'd just never really explored the band beyond the radio songs. i heard organ blues on <a href="https://www.wtju.net/" target="_blank">wtju</a> soon after, made by tyrannosaurus rex, before they became just "t rex.")</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://woodenshjips.bandcamp.com/music" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">wooden shjips</span></a> // staring at the sun</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/6uCxAga36NM" width="560"></iframe></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(dreamy psychedelic music is pretty much my bread and butter. breakfast, lunch, and dinner. and dessert. a crepe with nutella. and strawberries. with wine.) </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://julianadaugherty.bandcamp.com/" target="_blank">juliana daugherty</a> // california</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/LhWZ9YQCo38" width="560"></iframe> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(local to charlottesville, i saw juliana for the first time at the funky magnolia house, where i sat on a stairwell surrounded by nice people, kitschy decor, and her stunning voice. heartbreaking and elevating.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://davidalexanderguitars.bandcamp.com/" target="_blank">alexander</a> // untitled</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/8fgyTgzzmEQ" width="560"></iframe></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(starting in the autumn of 2017 i've been attending small intimate music shows held at low, a vintage cothing shop in downtown charlottesville. each show has been soul cleansing, meditative, a high dive into deep art. alexander is one of several improv guitar players i've seen there. pretty much life's soundtrack)</span>zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-47463758365202046822018-12-08T01:26:00.003-05:002018-12-08T09:30:15.640-05:00december songs, week one<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>the <a href="https://valeofeveningfog.blogspot.com/2017/12/" target="_blank">last two decembers</a> i've challenged myself to <a href="https://valeofeveningfog.blogspot.com/2016/12/" target="_blank">posting a song or artist per day</a> for the month. this year i'm choosing weekly digests. so here is december songs, week one: </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">when i hear a song i like i take note of it</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">i follow up by investigating online and seeing where it leads. sometimes i realize i don't want to hear the song again. but more often than not, it becomes a new fascination.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">these december songs are some of the songs from my notes, but also some others</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">many of these songs i've heard on the radio––while listening at home, or on my frequent drives to and from charlottesville</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">some are old favorites</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">many are are still new, something fascinating to hold to the light</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">some i over-listen to </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">maybe this is my unfolding play list? or mix tape? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">i'm sharing it with you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>tim buckley // buzzin fly</b></span><br />
<br />
<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/2hJzgLOSNrM" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(i'm so in love with this song i'm beginning to think i'm mental. i love his humming and yelping and purring as the song builds and throughout. and then his voice. all of it. singing those words. those words. the range. the lows, the highs, the theatrics. it fills the place of longing while also carving out a space for it.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>aretha franklin // tree of life</b></span><br />
<br />
<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/wKZzYEjwva4" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(this is everything)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>xylouris white // forging</b></span><br />
<br />
<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media;
gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Lb5lRExLjbQ" width="560"></iframe><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(i learned about xylouris white at some point this past year and they thrill my little greek heart beyond measure.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>led zeppelin // that's the way</b></span><br />
<br />
<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GGsmyqIrZRo" width="560"></iframe><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(led zeppelin was formative. coming upon my brother's "houses of the holy" lp when i was in elementary school and staring at the cover a lot. stairway to heaven at the end of every school dance. being wooed on the ski slopes by michael from ohio who called me zoso and sang zeppelin songs to me on the chair lift. seeing robert plant live just a few years ago and realizing truly what a shaman he is. i had never heard this song until recently. or if i had, it hadn't made an impression. but now it has.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>hudson bell // the falls</b></span><br />
<br />
<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media;
gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/DdcY9_pgWg0" width="560"></iframe><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(what
can i say i'm a romantic. i don't know where this person/band came
from. do you? maybe everyone knows about him/them. i haven't really
ventured beyond this song, because this alone is sooooo swell. is it way poppy? it
came on a pandora station one day when i was working at the winery. it
filled the airy space and made me want to jump out one of the loft
windows and fly around. it may just happen one day.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>chris bell // stay with me</b></span><br />
<br />
<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media;
gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RGxmuCypQIo" width="560"></iframe> <br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(i
have an obsession with this song. i find it deeply sweet. and i love
singing along to it while i'm driving, which i do often. if i ever form a band i want us to cover this song. applicants welcome.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>haley heynderickx // drinking song </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hPg-qRp8GvM" width="560"></iframe><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">(i heard her on the radio, took note, then she was coming to my town and i won tickets. it was a super lovely show i got to share with a friend i don't see all that often. and listening to her just now was like a well timed massage.)</span>zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-58898224299567233042018-11-29T10:06:00.000-05:002018-11-30T01:59:40.589-05:00when the song inside is shut down<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi93qlaBI2Pay5uojfN4uLsdIDAoOwy3Rb0YMgJVtwVUWZU26i-nWiuVgzdldADsdYXUb42mrN4XDE9fN6DSyB2oiPjRyDZ0PEMAEUvkrWVt5sf_r0MfTZf6P2J_WkbDK3X0rXP/s1600/38431581_10156843241358643_1710939998053728256_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi93qlaBI2Pay5uojfN4uLsdIDAoOwy3Rb0YMgJVtwVUWZU26i-nWiuVgzdldADsdYXUb42mrN4XDE9fN6DSyB2oiPjRyDZ0PEMAEUvkrWVt5sf_r0MfTZf6P2J_WkbDK3X0rXP/s400/38431581_10156843241358643_1710939998053728256_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">recently i've had opportunity to write words to music.</span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
i don't know if i will ever hear those lyrics taken to the stage or studio, but
writing them was enough. i am a moth after alchemical flame, and in those
moments, i flitted around a crucible that creates form.</span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
after these song writing forays, i shared the lyrics by also singing them to
the tracks provided and making a recording. </span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
please understand, sometimes i don't sing in crowds because i don't want people
around me to hear how poorly i sing. so to record my voice to music and hand it
to a someone to listen to is a big act of deciding to NOT care.</span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
doing so has brought me face to face with some deeply ingrained musical trauma
i experienced as a child. a shut down, if you will. </span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
it makes me wonder how many things have been shut down in all of us. how
damaged we all are. how we don't even realize that there is damage. and when a shut
down occurs, how we compensate for it in other ways.</span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
music is my emotional track. it's the backdrop and the drive and the story.
it's the fire in that previously mentioned crucible of creation. it brings
fusion. connection. movement. fantasy. I admire music makers and performers and
am recharged by the live experience. i love to dance, though that too is
cloaked and choked by self-consciousness.</span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
as much as i love music, and seek it, and have been closely connected to
musicians throughout my life, i know nothing of its formalities. i can't name
notes or specify structure. i know not a lick of musical language. and i have
never actively tried to know. music has been purely visceral for me. an
experience of hearing poetry. an enchantment, where priestess or shaman rally
the energy to rise. a ritual. a dance. a spell. a story.</span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
examining this love of music, this life of musicians, and wondering why i know
nothing about music formally, i recall the shut downs. i don't think i realized
until recently how deeply I’ve been altered. how my confidence was utterly
robbed.</span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
when i was in grade school, 2nd grade i think, i tried out for chorus. why 7-8
year olds are expected to "try out” for chorus, rather than just
encouraged to join, is beyond me. it is a vile structure that should not exist.
there was no opportunity for singing with classmates other than in chorus. i
tried out because i had the desire and inclination to sing. to make it into
chorus we had to sing "america the beautiful" and it was required
that we hit the high notes just so. i was not a capable candidate according to
the instructor. i did not make the cut. in 2<sup>nd</sup> grade all singing
with my peers was stolen.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
from that day forward i believed i could not sing. that it wasn't for me. that
i wasn't for it. it wasn't a possibility or even an option. </span>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
around the same time, we as grade schoolers were encouraged to pick an
instrument and receive instruction from music teachers associated with the
school. i had no idea where to begin and so i chose the flute, the choice of my
best friend at the time. do i think it was the right choice? in retrospect, no.
drums or bass or maybe cello would have been a better choice for me. but i
didn't come to that realization on my own. in my first week or two of trying to
learn how to make notes from a pipe and finding myself dizzy, a relation who
was babysitting me said, "some people have two left ears." for some,
she stressed, playing an instrument is "just not meant to be."</span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
the flute was returned, the rental contract ended, and i gave up on the idea of
learning an instrument.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
what world does that to children? what world doesn't try to help them find
their voice, their song, their rhythm, their expression? what world makes a
small child try out for group singing in a public school, rather than just
providing a space for children to sing, without judgment? what world has people
who tell children they are not good enough, even on the first try? i’ve heard
stories of children having their hands slapped with a ruler while trying to
learn the piano. in this case the whole possibility was slapped away.</span>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
of course, i could have toughed it out. ignored them. persevered outside of the
school structure. but music wasn’t exactly a calling. not like writing has
been. and confidence was not something instilled in me. i was (and still might
be) an easy subject to shrink down.</span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
fast forward to now, many decades later, where i am finding that perhaps
composing lyrics is a bridge between the poetry i write and the music i love.
and maybe it’s ok if i sing poorly. because sometimes it’s more about the power
to deliver the message. </span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
so we’ll see. but i’m feeling pretty determined of late to heal the trauma
those adults inflicted on a little girl who just wanted to be in the band.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span>zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-53572368692276308982018-09-11T19:11:00.000-04:002018-09-12T01:51:30.138-04:00The Fool Poem, Jon Collin Music, and a Video<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Last fall I saw <a href="https://joncollin.bandcamp.com/music" target="_blank">Jon Collin</a>––a beautiful improv guitar artist––perform in a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/lowlifevintage" target="_blank">groovy vintage clothing store</a> in Charlottesville. Hearing him live was an alchemical experience. I wrote a <a href="https://valeofeveningfog.blogspot.com/2017/12/december-songs-2-2017.html" target="_blank">bit of a review here</a>. The review is a kind of poem, too.</div>
<br />
One spring evening I found myself <a href="https://earlymusic.bandcamp.com/music" target="_blank">listening to his recordings</a> all night. His music brought the magic and l wrote a poem. While playing one of his pieces, I read my new poem, and recorded it. When I listened after, it seemed the words and the music fell together just right. <br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I received permission from him to share the poem with the music. His piece is called <a href="https://earlymusic.bandcamp.com/track/smoke-and-wind" target="_blank">Smoke and Wind</a>, from the album <a href="https://earlymusic.bandcamp.com/album/water-and-rock-music-volume-1" target="_blank">Water and Rock Music Volume 1</a>. You can <a href="https://earlymusic.bandcamp.com/track/smoke-and-wind" target="_blank">listen to it in its entirety here</a>. Please do. And then listen to the rest of his music and then buy something.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
As I continue to try to be bolder in 2018, I'd like to share this. I didn't want to post just a sound file however, so I looked for a video that might work. The video I came to is nine years old. It's a bit random but I think it works ok. </div>
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<br /></div>
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So here it is, <i>The Fool</i>, set to <i>Smoke and Wind</i> by Jon Collin.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/289397639" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
</div>
<a href="https://vimeo.com/289397639">The Fool poem by Zoe Krylova set to Smoke and Wind music by Jon Collin</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user1209456">Zoe Krylova</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-1449155876030520402018-08-10T23:36:00.020-04:002023-08-12T14:08:06.189-04:00Standing Up in Charlottesville<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia", serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></i></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia", serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzFWRb1Ss3g3M0YIUcAIOPc2oQFJ9OrpOstP_BOcrjs4IOSlhCtHnIri28SC-Jx9OsdO4DAAqmeJZT7PqxkR6DllB-CiP1NjWYYgM6zHzAZjifukILFks4d5TJpAVSO-emjUqZ/s800/38864608242_60eef62872_c+%25281%2529.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="800" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzFWRb1Ss3g3M0YIUcAIOPc2oQFJ9OrpOstP_BOcrjs4IOSlhCtHnIri28SC-Jx9OsdO4DAAqmeJZT7PqxkR6DllB-CiP1NjWYYgM6zHzAZjifukILFks4d5TJpAVSO-emjUqZ/s640/38864608242_60eef62872_c+%25281%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></span></span></i></span></span></div><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia", serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span></span></i></span></span><br />
<p></p><div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia", serif;"><span face="" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; float: none; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span>Prelude ~</span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia", serif;">i will wake in just a few hours to boil
eggs, pack a block of cheese, fill my water bottle</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia", serif;">on the check list: tent weights, folding
chairs, a dolly cart, walkie talkies</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia", serif;">i’ll pull on a skirt, because I may have to
squat to empty my bladder</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia", serif;">i’ll wear closed toed sandals, because I
don’t have combat boots</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia", serif;">i’ll tuck my “know your rights” card in a
book by a revolutionary poet</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia", serif;">(deciding which book may make me late)</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia", serif;">i’ll leave my dog at home, even though she
would bite a nazi</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia", serif;">i will leave my son with a soul who is
helping the cause by taking the children</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia", serif;">i will stand on a grassy knoll because I
have the privilege to feel less threatened</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia", serif;">i will stand on a grassy knoll and feel
threatened like never before</span></i></div>
<br />
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">August 11, 2017</span></b><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">On Friday, August 11,
2017, just a few hours before hundreds of nazis marched by torch lite to the
Rotunda, I saw a baby born at the University of Virginia hospital.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">I can’t tell you about the birth because it’s
confidential, but I can share the mood, which is one of warmth and power and
peace. I emerged from the glow of a love lit birthing room into a
Charlottesville evening that felt volatile. Dusting dried rose petals from my
sleeves, I felt the crush of anxiety. I tucked my doula bag into my car and grabbed
a fresh bag of nerves. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG2Kh6ChxGu6o6QwBuwlYmu_Nk8_1NeWWRXE5y1vUp9CO2AuFORop7hODZjTft-F_AXlMkeTMlwA1_xdSsy-FJD1apC16TXW7ibsgeKWtxXCT99GEIgQOxIn4d0RtOqWw4GWd6/s1600/love+lit+birthing+room+1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1000" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG2Kh6ChxGu6o6QwBuwlYmu_Nk8_1NeWWRXE5y1vUp9CO2AuFORop7hODZjTft-F_AXlMkeTMlwA1_xdSsy-FJD1apC16TXW7ibsgeKWtxXCT99GEIgQOxIn4d0RtOqWw4GWd6/s640/love+lit+birthing+room+1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">After 34 hours mostly
awake, I turned my car toward the winding miles home, my mind frozen on
tomorrow, forgoing the now <a href="https://www.cbsnews.com/video/faith-on-the-frontlines/" target="_blank"><span class="MsoHyperlink">famous service at St. Paul’s Church</span></a>.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">At home I had a fitful nap,
tension coursing through my body, my eight-year-old son punctuating the air
with his sounds, the rain expectant sky adding to the impending unknown. I knew
I needed to eat and sleep but felt myself wading against the current. I checked
messages, made lists, started gathering supplies for the next day. Before surrendering
to my bed, I scrolled through community reports on social media, and found
myself watching a live feed of nazis storming UVA. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">That moment in time is both
a pause and an autoplay. It’s a toxic hole that trauma digs. Before me was parade
of white men illuminated by tiki flame-light, chanting <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Jews will not replace us</i>, marching past red bricks of a University
I had left just a few hours prior.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>I wanted
to walk away from the screen but was frozen in place. I worried about friends at
the nearby service, community members on grounds. I thought about the new
parents I had just been with at the nearby hospital. Having been pepper sprayed
a month earlier at a KKK rally, I had a sinking feeling the police wouldn’t help.
And they didn’t.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">Later that night UVA
professor, Walt Heineke, posted on social media a brief and foreboding
description of the very violent nazi march on UVA, where cops failed to protect
a small crowd of students, employees, and community members who had joined
hands around the statue of Thomas Jefferson and were sprayed with chemicals and
beat with lit torches. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">In the chamber of an
already consuming anxiety, terror and despair settled in. Despite having had only
a few fitful hours of sleep, I found myself up until 3 or 4 am, paralyzed with
worry. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">Walt, also a dedicated
activist, had gained permits for two downtown parks, McGuffey and Justice, so community
members would have grounds to stage and retreat on August 12th. In less than
two weeks, programming had been organized for speeches, teach-ins, music,
medics, food, and water at the parks. We would call it <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/1527709727296643/" target="_blank">People’s Action for Racial Justice</a>, or PARJ. While I had been involved in planning and
communications, I hadn’t fully committed to being a marshal at the parks. I
wanted to stick by my daughter’s side, who was determined to be present. Even when
she announced late on August 11<sup>th</sup> that she would instead go on a
hike with a friend, I remained uncertain about donning a black cap and red
shirt to keep watch at Justice Park. Another one of my hesitations was a mounting
fear.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">August 12, 2017</i></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">I arose too late for the
<a href="https://youtu.be/LQ82aD6n6zg" target="_blank">Baptist service</a> on the morning of August 12 and found myself nervously
puttering. I desperately asked my husband, Dan, if he would run some of the supplies
into town and be there when I arrived to accompany me from the parking garage
to the park. On a bright Saturday morning I was afraid to be alone on these familiar
streets. Dan loaded the car with folding chairs and several weights for e-z up
tents and headed downtown. I gathered my courage, prepared a cooler for the day,
and in fugue finally drove the winding miles to Charlottesville. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">I had no real sense of
what I as entering. Dan had tried to text me a video of a large crowd of community
members marching with the clergy from the Baptist church to McGuffey Park, but
it failed to send. Lead marshal at Justice Park, and
good friend, Megan, was sending me texts of horror. “Where are you?” she asked.
When I finally reached McGuffey park, a militia man in camo suited up on the
street in front of me with holsters and weapons. He grabbed a large AK and
without even a glance at the people watching him with grave concern, he walked
toward Emancipation Park. “I’m here,” I texted back. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW7OfarFpRqsAntwpPtob_6WolOyw_vUUt0f6ZBfOp72DLoDQFFU6NtO1SditIlUyZr0kWqUoDayHWc4rZ9NUfrsZG3BMsg85I1NY5ypbLXJQvc81aD75DTXzSwVj16gxfohyphenhyphenY/s1600/+militia+3.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW7OfarFpRqsAntwpPtob_6WolOyw_vUUt0f6ZBfOp72DLoDQFFU6NtO1SditIlUyZr0kWqUoDayHWc4rZ9NUfrsZG3BMsg85I1NY5ypbLXJQvc81aD75DTXzSwVj16gxfohyphenhyphenY/s640/+militia+3.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">I climbed the steps to the
park, a fortress in its own right, and was met by large origami peace cranes,
activist groups, and community members gathered together on a playground where
my child learned to pump his legs on a swing. I looked up to the top of the
slide and thought, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that could be a good place
to keep watch</i>. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">At the mic
Charlottesville vice-mayor, Wes Bellamy, was giving an inspired speech,
followed by a clergy member who lead civil rights songs. I nodded to
acquaintances and friends and scanned the scene, apprehensively snapping a few
photos. I waved to a talented local photographer, who around that time <a href="https://www.newsy.com/stories/charlottesville-photographer-captures-james-fields-at-rally/" target="_blank">shot a photo of the nazi</a> who would later drive his car into a crowd of counter
protesters, injuring several, and killing one. A domestic terrorist had been in
that park with us on the morning of August 12 and we had no idea.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUSV6KTO5tI8cgANhS04wtP_s2CEloVynsakMg12EKVLN4IebtNKwI0SaEnfmjvGcTG033DtSW2vwsSVBiCuN8BAPzKlRVxXue4dSP8hyrc8ovep82Cs3m57VE3mfrhlC1vWE-/s1600/mcguffey+early.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="696" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUSV6KTO5tI8cgANhS04wtP_s2CEloVynsakMg12EKVLN4IebtNKwI0SaEnfmjvGcTG033DtSW2vwsSVBiCuN8BAPzKlRVxXue4dSP8hyrc8ovep82Cs3m57VE3mfrhlC1vWE-/s640/mcguffey+early.jpg" width="444" /></a></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">Megan had walked the three
blocks from Justice Park to McGuffey Park to meet me, and then we found Walt, who
I attempted to hand a set of walky-talkies. He refused to take them, looked at
me directly and stated, “We need help.” And so, in that final moment, I committed
to being a marshal. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">Megan and I headed to Justice
Park. We may have passed a few “alt-right” characters as we walked East on High
Street. It is hard to know who hates you and who doesn’t in this era where
nazis dress like hipsters and sport gauge earrings and dreadlocks. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">Justice was a hushed
scene compared to McGuffey. Some protest groups were staging, food and water was
available, people were arriving for a scheduled meditation. As I entered I
received a text from a friend who asked if I would calm her mom, who was there
and worried about weaponry. I found her and reassured her that no one was
permitted inside the park with weapons, that several of us were keeping watch.
She looked at me with a glazed expression and mentioned that she had been
protesting since the 60’s. I could see by the distance in her eyes that this
was something new, something different. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">I greeted our park DJ who
was manning the sound system for the day, and who the night before at UVA had been
smacked in the neck with a Tiki torch. Tyler would say a few important words to
to the local Charlottesville ring leader at a press conference on August 13, he
would DJ his local radio show on Monday, and on Tuesday he would suffer a
stroke in his workplace, attributed to a carotid artery that had been dissected
by a Tiki torch. Tyler would live to write a letter to the UVA president and
have it <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2017/10/04/the-white-nationalists-were-allowed-to-take-the-university-a-counterprotester-writes-to-u-va-s-president/?noredirect=on" target="_blank"><span class="MsoHyperlink">published in the Washington Post</span></a>. He would continue DJ’ing, and creating music,
and inspiring people who care. <a href="https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2017/08/tyler-magill-stood-up-to-jason-kessler-and-had-a-stroke-after-being-attacked-by-white-nationalists.html" target="_blank"><span class="MsoHyperlink">Tyler
would loom even larger</span></a> for many of us after August 12, while
struggling with the demons of trauma and ongoing legal battles that had
attached to him that weekend. But on Saturday morning, none of us knew that.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">In that moment, as my
shaky hands fumbled with my walkie-talkie, not really knowing what to do with
it, Tyler dialed it in to the station the PARJ marshals shared. My other walkie
went to co-activist, Liz, who bravely stepped into the fray around Emancipation
Park, at its most chaotic juncture. I recently pulled out my walkie talkies for
the first time since that day, and there it was, still dialed in: Station 10.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">What happened in those
fresh hours? My timeline of that day is a bit muddled.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">As I kept watch on the edges of the park, I
listened to an activist group staging, getting ready to march out into the
fray, their lead cracking jokes and trying to maintain a jovial mood. I watched
a couple of women hang a big banner on the Stonewall Jackson monument that
said, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Goodnight White Pride, </i>with an
image of a unicorn stomping a nazi. I found myself concerned about a man
packing heat and was informed that he was from the <a href="https://www.redneckrevolt.org/" target="_blank"><span class="MsoHyperlink">John Brown Gun Club</span></a>, a lefty
group present to protect us. I wasn’t comfortable with these folks with guns at
first, but little did I know that by the end of the day I would view them as heroes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">In a sudden appearance,
an angry nazi parade marched by, maybe about 40 men, representing the
organization we would later learn the car terrorist was part of. They were in their khakis, walking by silently at first, with their flapping flags and symbolic shields, soon yelling, “You will not replace us." </span><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">They passed a chorus of "nazi scum!" as we gathered at the edges of our park to bear witness. </span>It was the first time I'd ever seen a live neo-nazi parade and I found myself hugging Megan, as we both sobbed. We were horrified, yes, and our hearts were
broken. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='516' height='336' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzftBoyOy8ZFqGjGo7XhsfTuI5OWGtRXlZzrzxsx0RAJloRqv3V8_0cYlOaVtXGT6lfxEHZ_OARvws' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div> </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">Not long after this, the
group of counter protesters staging in our park marched off, ready to face the
gathering storm of hatred in Emancipation Park. A local therapist led a
meditation as people circled around her, sitting in lotus, their eyes closed. I
wanted to join that meditation but was too restless and nervy. A variety of
threatening posses continued to pass by waving confederate flags, carrying
offensive placards, and lugging guns. One such man wandered into Justice park
wearing a stars and stripes bandana on his head, looking around suspiciously.
Megan asked if she could help him. He said he was just checking out the scene
and then claimed to be looking for one of the nazis scheduled to speak at the
Alt Right rally. My gentle friend directed the man out of the park and firmly ordered
him not to return. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">A Quaker meditation
unfolded on and around the steps of the courthouse, and I decided to sit with
them and ground myself. By this time a helicopter had started circling above,
its severe slicing adding to the tension. It set the mood for what was truly a
battle zone. I tried to listen as Quaker community members stood up under the
noise and reflected on peace and justice, but I was distracted by the chopper,
and the muted sounds I was hearing from Emancipation Park just two blocks away.
I could hear a distant rumbling of voices. Then someone told me the counter
protesters and nazis were throwing things at each other. I would learn the
details later, that, among other substances, nazis were throwing bottles of
urine. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">Soon someone announced
that the police had called Illegal Assembly around Emancipation Park. Troops of
riot police and national guardsmen marched in that direction down Jefferson
Street. We learned that a State of Emergency had been declared by the Virginia
governor. Dan texted me asking for an update, wondering if he should still drop
off our son with our childcare volunteer and join me. I replied with an
affirmative. Their rally was canceled but the day of dangers was far from over.
The nazis were now barred from their gathering spot and could show up anywhere.
</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">Counter protesters
retreating from Emancipation Park started to trickle into Justice and McGuffey.
We were getting reports from Liz about bands of nazis marching away from
Emancipation Park, some heading towards McIntire, a park on the outer ring of
downtown, others heading East on Market Street in our direction, and still
others potentially heading toward McGuffey. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">No one really knew what
to expect next.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">And then a group of nazis
appeared in front of the court house, at 5<sup>tth </sup>and Jefferson, next to
our park. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">Counter protesters
gathered around the nazis and it was impossible to see what was happening. I
later saw a video of the violent clash that unfolded there. I reported to Walt
via walkie-talkie that there were nazis at our park and he came immediately. I
called for reinforcements of some sort as the policeman guarding 4<sup>th</sup>
and Jefferson did nothing. This is when our two private security guards suited
up with weaponry. I watched as city police in riot gear marched up Jefferson Street
toward Justice park. I felt relieved that they had come to protect us. But then
they turned and faced us. Behind them the state police had gathered on 5<sup>th</sup>
Street, and behind them the National Guard. The nazis were gone and a military
force was facing down the counter protesters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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</div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">I asked why they were
facing us, gazing with troubled eyes at the line of police who stared back
without emotion. Megan yelled to me, “You are on the front lines now, Zoe,” as
I stood there looking into the neutral faces of militarized policemen. Walt asked
me to help get protesters back into the park, as a sidewalk separated city and
county property in front of the courthouse, and we needed to be on our
permitted city property so as not to be declared an illegal assembly. Folks
were puzzled but cooperative about crossing the line. Once we were all in the
park, the police dispersed and moved on. We were left with a sense that the
police viewed us as a threat, perhaps more so than nazis, and there was nobody
there to protect us but ourselves.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">At this point in the day
both Megan and I were long overdue for a restroom. A co-marshal agreed to keep
watch as we walked the block to the Methodist church, a “neutral zone,” that
was offering their restrooms to all parties. There were nazis, counter
protesters, and clergy members all gathered outside the church, collecting
water, sitting, praying, scheming. The national guard was lined up, blocking
entry to an immediate side street leading to Emancipation park. In front of the
line of guardsman was a Black man, facing them silently, everyone absolutely
still. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">As we arrived, the church declared lock down, so
we cleared away. After a brief consideration of relieving ourselves in the
parking lot next to the national guard, some friendly neighbors on their front
porch offered us their restroom. While Megan took her turn, I watched CNN on
their big screen tv. For the first time that day I watched the violent clashes
on national news that were happening just a block away. I heard a statement
from Melania Trump condemning hate, a far more pointed message than her husband
would later deliver, declaring “very fine people on both sides” and falsely claiming
that the <a href="https://www.politifact.com/factchecks/2017/aug/17/donald-trump/donald-trump-wrong-charlottesville-counter-protest/" target="_blank">counter protesters had no permit</a>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">Dan had just arrived at
Justice park and was texting. He said he was going to walk with a group of
counter-protesters to a nearby public housing neighborhood, where it was
reported that nazis were harassing a community of color. Megan and I returned
to the park, which was thinly populated with community members that had
retreated from the now off-limits Emancipation park area. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">We contemplated joining
the counter protesters heading down 4<sup>th</sup> Street toward the
neighborhood in question, but felt we shouldn’t leave our posts again. So we
kept watch and waited. I was receiving texts from far off friends and family, on
the West coast and overseas, asking if I was ok as they witnessed the
unravelling violence on the news. I had talked to a reporter from France who
said he came because people in France are trying to understand what’s going on
in America. Megan talked to someone from Switzerland. Dan talked to someone
from China. The world was watching our tiny town.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">Suddenly our friend Liz
spoke with a broken, desperate voice over the walkie-talkies. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Repeat yourself</i>, we asked. A nazi
driving a car had plowed into a crowd of counter protesters on 4<sup>th</sup> and
Water Streets, she said breathlessly. The despair and fear in her voice ripped
through us. There were injured people all around, maybe casualties. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">I will never forget that
chilling moment of terror. Liz was uninjured but conveyed that she was
traumatized and had to retreat. We didn’t hear from her again that day except
to reassure us she was safe at her friend’s house.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">That moment of knowing and not knowing felt like
an echo chamber. Should we head down to the site of terrorism, or hold our
park? How many injured? Killed? I heard soon from Dan that he had stepped away
from the scene just moments before the car had torn through. He learned about the
incident from an employee of Chap’s Ice Cream shop on the downtown mall, who
had heard about it on tv. He was safe but returned to the site of the ambush
and found himself providing medic help to a man who fell with a crushed leg
before him. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">I chatted with a soft
spoken Black man in our park who asked for water. He came from New York City.
He was wearing thick chains, cuffs, and a collar. I later learned he is a
brilliant bad ass who shows up and speaks up. I asked if I could take his
photo, which he agreed to, and then I told him of the car incident. His eyes
widened as he asked the location and I tried to explain in my shock and
confusion. “Are you sure it’s down that street?” he asked nodding toward 4th. The
incident was only two blocks away, on the street that bordered our park, but it
somehow felt like miles. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZi-nB3V2k49654qn4uV8Ua0Fd3HLOFpu1UYoiLmsvQBeZz2pCCs-6RoTm3VJQGlK3mVKGw2zUcI8i7RfLMu_iITce9B8II_Hrdt0qEOuU1RA5O5TcKqIJnWqL1F2f_0TpbjqC/s1600/glen.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="608" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZi-nB3V2k49654qn4uV8Ua0Fd3HLOFpu1UYoiLmsvQBeZz2pCCs-6RoTm3VJQGlK3mVKGw2zUcI8i7RfLMu_iITce9B8II_Hrdt0qEOuU1RA5O5TcKqIJnWqL1F2f_0TpbjqC/s640/glen.jpg" width="388" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">Then the first counter
protester returned from the ambush. She fell to the sidewalk crying, repeating phrases,
saying she had <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">tried to tell them</i>.
She had tried to tell them but no one listened. She had tried to tell them that
they were being led into a trap. She had tried to keep people safe, but failed.
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">They didn’t listen. They didn’t listen.
They didn’t listen.</i></span> </div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">We called for medics to
provide emotional support. We knew she wouldn’t be the only one in need.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">More counter protesters
returned. I offered water, asked people if they were ok, asked if anything was
needed. Community members quietly milled about in shock, sitting alone on
benches, in groups under shade tents, near the base of a big tree I had stood
behind for safety more than once while nazi groups were passing. Eventually
people departed and there was just a dozen of us standing around that
vulnerable park. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">Someone told us that that
weapons were no longer permitted on the streets and the John Brown Gun Club had
left. Another person mentioned that nazis might be planning an attack on our
park. A large truck passed full of angry white men in helmets. We called to
Walt in McGuffey and said it was time to consolidate, that we were packing it
up and would be meeting him there. It was around 3pm. In quick order, we tore
down tables and easy ups and the DJ station at Justice park, leaving behind a
pile of anti-fascist placards and unidentified detritus that we would pick up
later, and moved everyone and all that we could to McGuffey Park. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">McGuffey had an entirely
different vibe than Justice. There were many more people there, and it didn’t
feel as vulnerable, situated on the top of a small hill, less visible to the
streets below. There were activist groups gathered still, community members
huddled, hugging, chatting. Several of us that arrived from Justice Park lay
down on the grass and rested for the first time that day, while our minds
processed all that had just passed before us. The car ambush. The speculation. Had
people died? How many injured? We didn’t know yet.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">I shared hard boiled eggs
from my cooler, wandered around the park, looked at scattered placards,
observed community members sitting quietly staring off at the unknown. We were
hearing rumors of shootings, of bands of nazis driving around town. We were
wondering if a curfew would be declared, what lay before us when night fell. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">A few nazis lingered at
the edge of our park though the security guards successfully sent them away.
Our false sense of safety in that park was slipping. Several of us started
making motions that it was time to call it for the day. Walt, in his unwavering
commitment to the cause, said, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not
without the speeches we had lined up for the aftermath.</i> And so, community
members and visiting activists started to take the mic. The overarching message
was that this fight must not end once we all returned home from the day. That
the Unite the Right rally is a symptom of a long prevailing systemic white supremacy
and the real work of dismantling it was before us in our own communities. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">Our day concluded with the creation of a memorial
to the person who had been killed in the car ambush. We still didn’t know her
name, her race, her age. But we knew there was one dead, likely a female.
Someone had fetched fresh flowers that were passed out to all in attendance. We
all in turn stepped forward and laid our flowers down. A circle of votive
candles was placed around the flowers. It was a somber,
sorrowful, circle of love, under the gathering clouds of a summer rain storm. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQEMWYkiiSsAPJ9lrcDv7JoBhBqAHpkUBsDhGQWJWKEg9I2uk8lcijkXZUP_taBhxj2W4Q42rMlwPJfWNudYvWKLIstt7jArJ67utNi3w1G5UFtd1ZwR9jXIbvG39HQGJiyEzy/s1600/heather+circle.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="750" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQEMWYkiiSsAPJ9lrcDv7JoBhBqAHpkUBsDhGQWJWKEg9I2uk8lcijkXZUP_taBhxj2W4Q42rMlwPJfWNudYvWKLIstt7jArJ67utNi3w1G5UFtd1ZwR9jXIbvG39HQGJiyEzy/s640/heather+circle.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">We would learn later in
the evening that her name was Heather Heyer and that she was a fighter for
social justice. The cover photo on her Facebook page read, “If you are not
outraged, you are not paying attention.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">We also learned that the
helicopter that had circled above us all day had crashed, and its co-pilots had
perished. My daughter drove by the scene of the helicopter crash as she
returned from her hike. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY-hVRESJd2QqSTlIJ3luJqUumIaprqL4VA-0ws-7801Y8RypAAsXMQYLvTaMJApXxVj3J9mU0NlspUD3jo2Z0LyzB449Ent0m0V6EZLRSWFUQk4lTlwMR-Ak7L0g9ISvmQAuA/s1600/helicopter.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="1000" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY-hVRESJd2QqSTlIJ3luJqUumIaprqL4VA-0ws-7801Y8RypAAsXMQYLvTaMJApXxVj3J9mU0NlspUD3jo2Z0LyzB449Ent0m0V6EZLRSWFUQk4lTlwMR-Ak7L0g9ISvmQAuA/s640/helicopter.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">Soon after, she saw a
massive rainbow. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhff0yqaHyS_RR7_lJeKltcWnUDOP8EHy64dODrwdZj7KTlkWHZTo4XpRjwLYcELYJtYP1CMzH6Ta8wFAezAGEWheRjqDED8CCSGlpMYVC7wYRGep6JwgsM1wp_RNRouk9ek-Op/s1600/20767732_1000287966779938_3537243074853718844_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhff0yqaHyS_RR7_lJeKltcWnUDOP8EHy64dODrwdZj7KTlkWHZTo4XpRjwLYcELYJtYP1CMzH6Ta8wFAezAGEWheRjqDED8CCSGlpMYVC7wYRGep6JwgsM1wp_RNRouk9ek-Op/s640/20767732_1000287966779938_3537243074853718844_n.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">That arc of love would
expand in the days ahead, stretching like the rainbow across our community,
forging a new but fragile bridge. Body workers and therapists would offer their
services for free. There would be memorials and concerts and meetings, aimed at
healing and action. Notable speakers would visit our town and address what
happened and how to move ahead. There would be articles, and interviews, and
analysis. Charlottesville would become a hashtag. In the core of our town there
would be outrage, borne of love, and our city leadership would be implicated. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">People who had never come
together before, would join forces. There would be a stronger sense of
diversity as people of color emerged and claimed their village, at least for a
while. Eyes would meet eyes more often on our downtown mall. At the same time,
divisions would grow, between those saying, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">you
shouldn’t show up</i>, and those who were there, or supported those who were
there. There would be a call for civility from the mediocrity while activists
and underserved community members rose up at city council meetings demanding
change––systemic change––and accountability. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">The trauma would unfold
in various ways, on various timelines, for some immediate, for others later.
Some would feel jumpy when hearing cars peel out. Dodge Chargers and big trucks
would be held in suspicion as would signs of loyalty to the confederacy. There
would be video accounts and countless testimony populating the narrative of
what went down, showing the faces of those who need to be brought to trial, and
those who were victimized. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">There would be trials,
many of them traumatic, with nazis pleading self-defense for their assault. Resources
would be wasted on convicting community defenders, rather than those who came
with hate in their hearts. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">There would be interviews
and investigations, reports falling short, and law suits serving to possibly
hurt everyone in the long run. As I write this, it continues––the trials, the
threat, the reactions, the actions, the paralysis, and the healing. And the
president who fostered the climate of hate, who claimed a false equivalency,
continues his rampage and unraveling of human decency and an endangered planet.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ52XoRDowdVyZc2sX2EI6WODScbjLlIN0RXJWWYQt-DE220yRVilTm-sEu1zsxoUMQGz7qANZ6kaURsmZGOHov4MsrxMY1dyETAWDfC4PVjr8Qgfc8HecxeSkLPzJL-AZ7Vom/s1600/arms+raised+heier.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="729" data-original-width="999" height="466" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ52XoRDowdVyZc2sX2EI6WODScbjLlIN0RXJWWYQt-DE220yRVilTm-sEu1zsxoUMQGz7qANZ6kaURsmZGOHov4MsrxMY1dyETAWDfC4PVjr8Qgfc8HecxeSkLPzJL-AZ7Vom/s640/arms+raised+heier.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">But in our small town of
Charlottesville, known now to the world, the events of August 11 and 12 amplified
widely and the study of it still unfolding across major media platforms, a new
era of social justice is in its infancy. Community members are at work to
dismantle systemic white supremacy, secure affordable housing, and fight the
prison industrial complex that is ruining Black lives and separating families.
People are unpacking bias, and white privilege, and the illusion of a liberal Democratic
oasis. People are speaking up, organizing, and holding leadership to the fire. Nikuyah
Walker was voted in, our first female African American mayor, making history.
And every month, twice a month, community members and city councilors come
together, some fighting for progress, others upholding the status quo. Those specific
confederate monuments that started a wave of statue removal in the south still
stand, speaking of Charlottesville’s potential for radical change and its
deeply intrenched foundation of systemic racism. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">As deacon and local activist
Don Gathers said of Charlottesville’s summer of hate, “This is our Selma
bridge.” </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw2sWgwy3U66auWkLp-7DvFPuNilv_SgDFW8nHU-nD0AWvNvDA228Mr4TaXORqrZn_tE3u0Ar3gGHzOqdybLrRD37oshkgwCHAm5Kbjhn1megXsHdbrIL1tkLyGzLCnUohb3zh/s1108/20900685_10155858678023643_1497969072580163631_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1108" data-original-width="564" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw2sWgwy3U66auWkLp-7DvFPuNilv_SgDFW8nHU-nD0AWvNvDA228Mr4TaXORqrZn_tE3u0Ar3gGHzOqdybLrRD37oshkgwCHAm5Kbjhn1megXsHdbrIL1tkLyGzLCnUohb3zh/s640/20900685_10155858678023643_1497969072580163631_o.jpg" /></a></div> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"><i>All the photographs and videos in this entry are my own. If you would like to see more, you can find them</i> <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/zopho/albums/72157690660793345" target="_blank">HERE</a>. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"><i>And we mustn't forget that a month earlier, there was another rally of hate, when the</i><a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/zopho/albums/72157684761328390" target="_blank"> KKK visited Charlottesville</a>. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;"><i>In 2021 Charlottesville <a href="https://www.npr.org/2021/07/10/1014959484/after-removing-two-statues-charlottesville-officials-vote-to-take-down-a-third#:~:text=After%20Removing%20Two%20Statues%2C%20Charlottesville%20Officials%20Vote%20To%20Take%20Down%20A%20Third&text=City%20of%20Charlottesville-,During%20a%20special%20emergency%20meeting%2C%20the%20Charlottesville%20City%20Council%20unanimously,Clark%20and%20Shoshone%20interpreter%20Sacagawea." target="_blank">finally removed</a> several of it's offensive statues. </i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia", "times new roman", serif;">
</span><style><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
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zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-46173384691199436932018-05-31T14:34:00.004-04:002018-05-31T14:48:50.035-04:00Saturated<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxyGHlOKaOfSmCBbMTj1vLiWkuGIBZVOOUgIGrN-5x1GO4BApmppSqEHd88KLCz2Q8y8XvbmTLCXTQ3al5eEl2ngpQlVF5-WtxwKSjh25DEMycIX2Bcg0iMlAJCuCcrTNLGNyA/s1600/IMG_7466+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1095" data-original-width="1590" height="440" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxyGHlOKaOfSmCBbMTj1vLiWkuGIBZVOOUgIGrN-5x1GO4BApmppSqEHd88KLCz2Q8y8XvbmTLCXTQ3al5eEl2ngpQlVF5-WtxwKSjh25DEMycIX2Bcg0iMlAJCuCcrTNLGNyA/s640/IMG_7466+3.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Dear Blog,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I don't write to you like I used to. I have fallen out of time and you have not been my priority. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But also, I don't know how to write about all the stuff.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Occasionally I search you for a memory or reference or picture or song. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And once in a while you are an appealing canvas for the salty stream, the shapeless tumble that appoints language. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It rained really a lot yesterday. I was driving home when the sky broke on the windshield and all spigots gushed. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The moist constant was not helpful in my attempt to find mooring. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But today in the pause I am trying to grasp something solid.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What truths are at hand? </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There is so much horror that I'm finding myself sewing a quilt buffer––not inactive, but cushioned. A quiet containment.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But also, the panic meter is swinging high.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Things that help me:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">* music</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">* making things</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">* remembering to breathe </span> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">* meeting new people and hearing their stories</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">* my young son's frequent hugs</span></span> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">* all aspects of the taco</span> </span> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">* loving</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">* vices</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Things that trouble me:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">* racism </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">* false binaries</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">* the patriarchy </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">* the founding of our nation </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">* homelessness</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">* capitalism</span> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">* cruelty</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">* ego </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">These are not complete lists. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Neither include my shadow world––The things that trouble me about me. Sorting through this is about sorting through privilege and conditioning, wounds and longings. Distilling experience. Deciphering wrong turns. My pile of thread and rock and papyrus and rust.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And then there is the lack of sorting. A locked gate on deep growth because of fragility or fear. Because there is a shortfall in energy. Because there is an over-abundance of distraction. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Or perhaps because there is a lack of awareness that an audit is essential. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It rained really a lot
yesterday. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I</span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> was at home when my heart opened in the evaporating steam and I started to sort through the saturated shale.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJNWYI38rQVB3Xl7Vw4SamMQVMRBgNHk3pKSg_rdDFqoPymkfTIEpeYOuunDeKaIuMQFE9CuhAJeRprmElDL_USm9Y2jhahwL8L30WyvjE2-LpZoENGs8w7wv-5twQNDdAV41O/s1600/IMG_7454.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJNWYI38rQVB3Xl7Vw4SamMQVMRBgNHk3pKSg_rdDFqoPymkfTIEpeYOuunDeKaIuMQFE9CuhAJeRprmElDL_USm9Y2jhahwL8L30WyvjE2-LpZoENGs8w7wv-5twQNDdAV41O/s640/IMG_7454.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-15283430045017498002018-02-03T04:20:00.002-05:002018-02-03T09:20:46.796-05:00One year as a motherless child<style><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;">Last year at this time my Mother crossed the veil. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;">Today has been marked by that day leading to her death, which
is somewhat conflated with the days that preceded it, as the week itself was a
kind of trance.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;">Today is a brand-new day. Exceptional and not so, in so many
big and small ways.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;">In the morning, I joined community members in the court house
to support other community members who confronted nazism in 2017. My head is
spinning as I integrate the experience, but my heart has grown. Midday I bought
flowers and a small wreath to decorate my mother’s grave. In the late
afternoon, I enjoyed an African dance workout, where a half dozen drummers laid
the rhythm and I struggled to find mine. In the evening, I observed some
excellent art exhibits in the galleries, heard sacred singing, and spent time with
friends and family. When I got home I fell into a deep sleep on the couch and
woke shortly before the exact time of my mother’s passing. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;">So once again I am in a place of no-time.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;">Many, if not most of us, experience these anniversaries of a
loved one’s passing. Perhaps we were there with them, if not physically, then
in so many emotional ways, positive and negative.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;">My mother is gone. She passed one year ago on Feb 3, shortly
after 1am. She wanted to wait until the 3<sup>rd</sup> of the month because
that is when her social security check drops into her bank account. This is a small thing we giggle about.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;">My mother became non-verbal about four days before she
passed. I had spent long stretches of time at the Hospice House for two
months, but in this last week, I kept vigil in that padded realm of whispers.
It was safe in there, and warm, and so very beautiful. And there was the daily
embrace of exceptional nurses, and chaplains, and social workers, and aids. They
were a supportive family for a short period of time. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;">That's not to say there weren't less gentle hands in the mix.
Once my mother said, “If you are going to die in hospice, don’t die during the
night shift.” But overall, my mother couldn't have passed in better care. It's
where she wanted to be. And I am deeply grateful.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;">On the day of Feb 2, 2017, she lay in stillness, with mildly
labored breathing. I remained at her side, studying her, caressing her at
times, but my relationship with my mother was never one of much physical
affection. I held space with her, which is what she wanted most from me––being
there. I probably ate lunch in the hospice dining room, where food was
sometimes shared with other families and the workers. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;">This was important to my mom––that we share food. The week
before she passed she insisted we buy eight rotisserie chickens for the hospice
staff. We fed the whole house and its patients for days with that meal. Over
the holidays, she contributed several Panettone Cakes. On February 2<sup>nd, </sup>I
may have contributed some Greek delicacies: Grape Leaves and Hummus and
Teropita. The staff appreciated my mother’s generosity with food, and in turn
mine, which was a theme of our lives, really.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDb7jun-vmPxMaVj5HAqFLPAeldOq15lZWmMuj8Kn95NX-RIb_Hwwrbj0RC3oIdiFfH7TEWprIKBmuGLuOMubxPW4SFcbeaE5wKZhA9JTvR_V89QNqo74kaGmMXqcCLLdFKs0R/s1600/mom_005.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1072" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDb7jun-vmPxMaVj5HAqFLPAeldOq15lZWmMuj8Kn95NX-RIb_Hwwrbj0RC3oIdiFfH7TEWprIKBmuGLuOMubxPW4SFcbeaE5wKZhA9JTvR_V89QNqo74kaGmMXqcCLLdFKs0R/s640/mom_005.jpg" width="427" /></a> </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;">On February 2<sup>nd,</sup> the nurses thought my mother had
a couple of days yet. But I kept watch into the night. My friend Megan came by
to keep me company, the only friend who had stepped into my mother’s death
chamber. She held space with me there for some time, and then we walked the
three blocks to the Tin Whistle pub, where I enjoyed a stiff drink, and the
sense of being alive. It was cold and cozy and surreal. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;">When I returned to the hospice house, the night nurse told me
she felt certain my mother would make it to morning. I was trying to decide
whether to stay or go home to sleep in my own bed. As I was considering my
options, my mother moved for the first time in hours, days really, stretching
her arms in a downward struggle that implied discomfort. She was clearly
distressed, reaching. I asked a nurse if she could turn her, or try to
troubleshoot her discomfort, but the nurse said they had just attended to her,
and that she was fine. I decided in that moment to stay the night, prompting the nurse to
come in and adjust her, and up her morphine. My mother had refused the morphine
until the very end. On this day, her dose was high.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;">A lot of people have exceptional stories of a loved ones
passing. A last word. A moment of sublime contact. A very strong sign. Some
people crawl into to bed with their loved one and hold them. But I sat by my
mother’s side in an easy chair watching her intermittently while watching late
night tv. I assumed we had a morning ahead of us, perhaps a day. Shortly after
Seth Meyers’ sketch, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A closer look</i>,
which lambasts Trump with comedic investigative journalism––something my mother
loved––I dozed off a bit. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;">I woke to the nurse saying, “Zoe, she is gone.” </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;">Just like that. As I fell into a sleep beside her, she took
her final breath. Seamless. No drama.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;">The moment of finding her gone was a terrible one. No poetic
words can really describe that sensation of sitting beside my mother’s empty
body, turning skeletal before my very eyes. It was entirely expected, yet not.
Wasn’t she going to make it until morning? Weren’t there yet more signs we were
waiting for? The nurses were apologetic, saying they truly thought she had
longer. But the moment had come and gone like a leaf falling. She had drifted
away and settled into a place I can hardly imagine, that I have no strong
spiritual or religious or cultural preconceptions of. A dark and empty space,
that I can illustrate with light and liberation and a great winged flight. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;">The funeral home attendants wheeled the husk of my mother’s
diminished body away under a bright red blanket. I packed all her things, all
the tidy clothes she brought to hospice but never wore, her cologne, her under
garments, her big thick robe stained with food and medicine, her bible, and
Greek Orthodox icons. I packed them carefully with my tears, and loaded them
into the car. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;">I drove away from death and into life under the great star of
memory, which sheds an illuminating light on the relationship I had, and continue
to have, with my mother. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , serif; letter-spacing: -0.1pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">RIP Tatiana Efthyvoulou 9.27.31 – 2.3.17</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8XdDwKGtWIkighSsyCASecK-dcVL64cOR2y59IPzc3xy8O5Nl9YkxtXyOdIFl8lMJF_YGszWDloqBUrkAu9huvS-BKQQ0PxMx_EE1kZbTQaG8Ueu1po03RVQlY8UXAcbIDmiO/s1600/mom%2527s_life_096.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> </a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span></span>zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-2368723003170016872017-12-31T10:07:00.000-05:002017-12-31T11:18:12.634-05:00December Songs 31 (2017)<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It's New Years Eve! Time for a final December Songs 2017. And I am so very glad I found a recording of <a href="http://devonsproule.com/home/" target="_blank">Devon Sproule</a>'s new song, "Turn Back to Love." The first time I heard her sing this––I believe it was at a recent show at the Batesville Market––I found tears streaming down my face and had to choke back audible sobs. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">I’ve got someone
new, you may have heard.</span></i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>
</i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">She’s hanging on
my every word.</span></i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>
</i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">I’m becoming the
master decoder.</span></i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>
</i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">So much to see, so
much to show her.</span></i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>
</i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">Are you making it
safe and OK?</span></i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>
</i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">Are you shrugging
and turning away?</span></i></b></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">She wrote it after the events of our Charlottesville Summer and every word of it goes straight to the heart: as a mother, as a community member who was present at the events of July 8 & August 12, as a citizen striving for systemic change, as a human who loves. </span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">What am I gonna
say, when she asks what I did?</span></i></b> </span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Devon is so generous, not only can you <a href="https://www.patreon.com/posts/turn-back-to-14150006" target="_blank">listen to her new song here</a>, you can also <a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/3bn48vhevtccwuf/Turn%20Back%20To%20Love%20demo.mp3?dl=0" target="_blank">download it</a>. There is no video as of yet, just her beautiful voice and deeply moving lyrics. I take these words and this experience into 2018, knowing that all that has passed in 2017 is a dangerous, frightening, but enlightening springboard toward change. May 2018 be a very different year for all of us, where we "turn back to love."</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipjp_b0Fp8C5XLNo0yvHXv8r43ObEj68lqHuLSAm5GmpXJ-3b5aqfmKk6M2SDDqmiHvPPfSlRo0mSwNlwZkcjKfWFm8bq-Lw0zH3RiGKRx0dt1h9PNtwKe0CHIrU6Ez3yBi2Gd/s1600/26540508_10156241889763643_1515754867_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipjp_b0Fp8C5XLNo0yvHXv8r43ObEj68lqHuLSAm5GmpXJ-3b5aqfmKk6M2SDDqmiHvPPfSlRo0mSwNlwZkcjKfWFm8bq-Lw0zH3RiGKRx0dt1h9PNtwKe0CHIrU6Ez3yBi2Gd/s400/26540508_10156241889763643_1515754867_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><a href="https://s3-us-west-1.amazonaws.com/patreon-posts/6VXbNz0ETsM5yetPre8u4a5HDKEvNJApUv20PSJZ-UdZZ3Y5K1oNq7rEQd--fcvj.mp3" target="_blank"><b>Turn Back to Love</b></a>, by Devon Sproule</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">Stuck under the
northern border,</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">Why did I let my
passport run out?</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">That clean air is
a foggy memory</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">Getting burnt off
in the south.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">I thought this was
this optional hobby</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">Before the Nazis
came to my town,</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">Are you quiet or
crying it out loud?</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">I’ve got someone
new, you may have heard.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">She’s hanging on
my every word.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">I’m becoming the
master decoder.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">So much to see, so
much to show her.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">Are you making it
safe and OK?</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">Are you shrugging
and turning away?</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">Turn back to us.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">Turn back to love.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">Faster and
funnier, you hate 2 lose.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">Doubling down on
those dangerous views. </span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">I can’t begin to
know what you’re thinking.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">But I get a whiff
of the koolaid you’re drinking.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">Are you sneaking
beneath your own mind?</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">Do you really
believe he’s a great guy?</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">That’s not your
voice, that isn’t you.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">I know because
I’ve lost mine too.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">I’m terrified to
get specific.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">What am I gonna
say, when she asks what I did?</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">Are you trying it
on for a day?</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">Are you shrugging
and turning away?</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">Turn back to us. </span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">Turn back to love.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">Overnight,
overyear,</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">This little life
is long, I hear,</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">Long enough that I
can see a time,</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Georgia",serif;">That's quiet
enough to listen to the pines.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;">And while you're here, check out this awesome Wes Swing video (another magical musician I saw for the first time this year<i>) </i>with a cameo by Devon Sproule.</span><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"></span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif;"><iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/wYAEcdm3MFk" width="650"></iframe><br /></span></i></div>
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</style> zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-56059121775774039422017-12-30T23:29:00.003-05:002017-12-30T23:31:32.375-05:00December Songs 30 (2017)<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">How about Alice Coltrane for December Songs 30. This really speaks to me right now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i>Turiya and Ramakrishna</i></span><br />
<br />
<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/QUMuDWDVd20" width="650"></iframe><br />zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-78502104562082074442017-12-29T17:51:00.000-05:002017-12-30T23:31:11.036-05:00December Songs 29 (2017)<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I'd like to feature <a href="http://www.steve-gunn.com/" target="_blank">Steve Gunn</a> because he is one of my very favorite musicians of late. I saw him in June with Lee Ranaldo and Meg Baird and aside from being incredibly talented, he has a very authentic and humble quality.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Here is <i>Way out Weather</i>, a video that features some Buddhist imagery as we approach 2018.</span><br />
<br />
<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ckSY12Dmw8Q" width="650"></iframe><br />zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-15746131241503749112017-12-28T01:04:00.000-05:002017-12-30T23:30:21.010-05:00December Songs 28 (2017)Another awesome talent I got to see in the very intimate setting of Low Vintage was <a href="http://www.thrilljockey.com/artists/glenn-jones" target="_blank">Glenn Jones</a>. Here is someone I could spend an entire Saturday listening to, fire in the wood stove, mug of hot tea on the table, notebook in hand, gazing out the window at the snow or rain or sunbeams falling. So very grateful for this sound.<br />
<br />
<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GQSlqwOGdOI" width="650"></iframe><br />
<br />
Also, I mentioned Meg Baird in <a href="https://valeofeveningfog.blogspot.com/2017/12/december-songs-3-2017.html" target="_blank">an earlier post</a>. Glenn Jones sometimes performs with her sister, <a href="http://laurabaird.com/music/bio.html" target="_blank">Laura Baird</a>.<br />
<br />
<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/13kYsBVErmI" width="650"></iframe><br />zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-57562794088456838552017-12-27T13:15:00.000-05:002017-12-30T23:30:49.233-05:00December Songs 27 (2017)<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I've fallen behind again. One of my December Songs must be dedicated to <a href="http://www.menomossorecords.com/adam-busch/" target="_blank">Adam Ostrar</a>, who is one of several amazing performers I caught at Low Vintage this autumn. A modern troubadour of celestial song, and excellent guitar player, his was another intimate show that transported me to a quiet healing space. His new album, <a href="https://ink19.com/2017/12/magazine/music-reviews/adam-ostrar" target="_blank">Brawls in the Briar</a>, is masterful.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Warlock</i> is a favorite, with a quiet work-of-art video.</span><br />
<br />
<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/MnBg9V5x07Q" width="650"></iframe><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Spare Me</i> also is lovely, and another excellent video.</span><br />
<br />
<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/VbfbN-oYN1E" width="650"></iframe><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Enemy</i> pulls you into it's plodding rhythm and wraps you in poetry. And then it enters some excellent sonic weirdness.</span><br />
<br />
<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/a7R4HMeIFFU" width="650"></iframe><br />zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-30613866970207114632017-12-26T23:47:00.001-05:002017-12-27T00:01:52.687-05:00December Songs 26 (2017)<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I found myself being pulled toward "Mutual Benefit." Their music is like a great massage. Sit back and let it uncoil your tension. Visualize a breathing planet. Watch the breeze send a ripple through oatstraw. Street light and the snowy dusk.</span><br />
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<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/0jM3v8nm0ac" width="650"></iframe>zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-11475388190583351702017-12-25T01:52:00.000-05:002017-12-25T11:47:18.846-05:00December Songs 25 (2017)<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I heard this Peter Tosh song on Reggae Vibrations, another favorite WTJU show, while I was loading presents under the Christmas Tree (I was streaming the show from the archives as I'd missed its actual air time). It brought an introspective atmosphere to the culmination of consumerism and stress that surrounds Christmas, inviting reflection and prayer in my moment of privilege as I distributed our gifts. This holiday plays an unsteady rhythm across a variety of families and individuals, christian and not, and has deeply harmful and meaningful affects, alike. I've centered myself on the idea of Solstice––the growth of the light in the darkest season––and a time to refill the coffers, if possible. But I always feel conflicted about perpetuating the materialism and am keenly aware of the impact: the bar set too high for so many by the privilege of a few, the back breaking grind on workers, the heart breaking reality for those who can barely manage the day to day, let alone some big cultural spending event, the anxiety for those who are trying to maintain family tradition but not go overboard or off balance. The aesthetic of Christmas is everywhere, flashing in the faces of a huge percentage of people who have no cultural or religious or personal or familial connection to the tradition. The season can bring people together yet finds people at their loneliest. This song, the cadence of it, the commitment to an enlightened spiritualism, ripped me open a little. I'm grateful. This day is a heart beat that we all share, regardless of what we might have or have not, do or do not. May we bonded in one love. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Creation</i> by Peter Tosh</span><br />
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<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZG9BMLHx4TM" width="650"></iframe><br />zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-22597060500314637222017-12-24T11:11:00.001-05:002017-12-24T11:13:52.848-05:00December Songs 24 (2017)<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What would December Songs be without a version of Joni Mitchell's, <i>River</i>? Yes, Joni is another she-hero, though it seems, realistically, attending a performance is one thing on my bucket list I won't get to tick off. I have seen Beth Orton perform, however, both in San Francisco and Charlottesville. I've learned that if people don't like Beth Orton's voice, they hate it. But I'm cool with it. And she does a pretty sweet version of <i>River</i>, I must say. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I'm not a huge Sarah McLachlan fan, but her version of <i>River</i> is quite lovely.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And here's the real deal, untouchable really, a version of <i>River</i> live by Joni Mitchell. Her intro is so sweet.</span><br />
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<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/0VV6j_mFR9c" width="650"></iframe><br />zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-76755993497312365062017-12-23T10:50:00.000-05:002017-12-24T10:51:17.284-05:00December Songs 23 (2017)<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Patti Smith is one of my reigning she-heroes. Here she is singing her own unique version of <i>Smells Like Teen Spirit</i>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/zg_ZXGX4gns" width="650"></iframe></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Here is an impassioned live performance of Smith's tribute to Kurt Cobain, <i>About a Boy</i>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/1pi8_qu8Wyo" width="650"></iframe> </span>zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-52223467398098199192017-12-22T10:17:00.000-05:002018-05-03T09:46:30.047-04:00December Songs 22 (2017)<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The vast majority of my music discoveries are made through listening to the rock programming at local awesome college radio station, <a href="http://www.wtju.net/" target="_blank">WTJU</a>. That's where I learned about this compilation of lost psychedelia, <a href="https://shop.mexicansummer.com/product/paul-major-feel-the-music-vol-1/" target="_blank"><i>Feel the Music</i></a>, based on a book of the same title, by <a href="https://www.itsnicethat.com/articles/feel-the-music-the-psychedelic-worlds-of-paul-major-publication-140617" target="_blank">Paul Major</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Enjoy<i> Blue Lightning</i>, by <a href="http://www.tastyodds.com/en/Compact-Discs/Relics-from-the-past/Joint-Effort-Two-Sided-Country-Blues-CD.html" target="_blank">Joint Effort</a>. Seems like their album, Two Sided Country Blues, recorded in 1971, may be worth a listen as well.</span><br />
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<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/_k0qsc79vBY" width="650"></iframe><br />zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-79344624475120034032017-12-21T22:00:00.000-05:002017-12-21T22:00:28.777-05:00December Songs 21 (2017)<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Happy Solstice! I heard this song on the radio yesterday, and it seemed the perfect balance of darkness and light. I wanted to share it on Solstice. Haunting and beautiful. May the light––and love––prevail. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i>Blow Northern Wind</i> by the Mediaeval Baebes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And while we're at it, this one is pretty cool.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i>Veni Veni Bella</i></span><br />
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<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/t0v7nv2s3tQ" width="650"></iframe><br />zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-30519056291701845572017-12-20T17:19:00.000-05:002017-12-21T17:36:36.389-05:00December Songs 20 (2017)<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It's hard to know where to begin with PJ Harvey, because she is always awesome. I came across this video, and aside from it being a kick-ass song, I thought this performance a good example of her elf-goddess-diva energy. Plus you get to meet her band.</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">To Bring You My Love</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">This is also pretty sweet, PJ with Nick Cave, another favorite artist.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And this. She can rock the short dress like no other.</span><br />
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<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/A29BMj3v86w" width="650"></iframe><br />zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-38930362667437734132017-12-19T22:53:00.000-05:002017-12-30T18:11:49.168-05:00December Songs 19 (2017)<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Pretty much everything that Mavis Staples does is outstanding. And I really love the various collaborations she does. This is a Gorillaz song featuring Pusha T and Mavis. So much passion and energy and inspiration. I remember seeing it on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert and being wowed!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Here is <i>Let me Out</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/kLRbAWw5CX8" width="650"></iframe> </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Here is something cool too, Mavis with Chuck D, <i>Give We the Pride</i></span><br />
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And another awesome collaboration, this one with Jeff Tweedy. Showing up quite recently on Colbert yet again, here is <i>Build a Bridge</i><br />
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<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/gRESyLnIhq0" width="650"></iframe><br />zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-15605774929255077462017-12-18T14:15:00.000-05:002017-12-19T22:29:03.471-05:00December Songs 18 (2017)<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Here is a seasonal song that is ok by me, <i>Snowflake</i>, by <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kate_Bush" target="_blank">Kate Bush</a>, from a 2011 album, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/50_Words_for_Snow" target="_blank">50 Words for Snow</a>. It's so haunting and spare, I quite like it.</span><br />
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<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/vEWMYfcg1o8" width="650"></iframe><br />zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-12961009143098957522017-12-17T13:57:00.000-05:002017-12-19T13:58:25.078-05:00December Songs 17 (2017)<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Here's a new old song that I heard on WTJU's Radio Freedonia on Saturday, <i>Places of Light</i>, by <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brainticket" target="_blank">Brainticket</a>, a "krautrock" band from the 70's. </span><br />
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zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10102312.post-62828149393169451992017-12-16T23:30:00.000-05:002017-12-17T11:11:52.011-05:00December Songs 16 (2017)<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I'm not sure where I was when this Beck song, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debra_(song)" target="_blank">Debra</a>, was released many years ago––in a cave nursing my little daughter perhaps? It came on the radio recently and I was all like, WHO is this? I was fairly blown away when I learned it was Beck. It's a ridiculous song, lyrically. But musically, it's amazing, and a great example of Beck's range of talent! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Check out this live version with Beck, ever the showman, sliding around the stage and throwing his mic about.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And since surely you'll want to hear it again, might as well listen to the studio version.</span><br />
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<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="405" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ddBTLVcJpUw" width="650"></iframe><br />zoe krylovahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09298797881702007719noreply@blogger.com0