from london heathrow airport

i am spending too much money on 15 minutes of computer time.

we boarded our flight from dulles airport yesterday evening, only to sit there for almost three hours. all take offs were "suspended" due to a storm on the horizon. no storm materialized, but i guess i should be glad that they are watching out for us. then when we got to london the flight had to circle around in figure eights for about 20 minutes until it got the all clear to land. the lines we had to stand in to get to our connecting flight were unbelievable. needless to say, we missed our connecting flight to cyprus. we are booked on the next flight which should be boarding shortly.

i have had two 30 minute cat naps but that is about it in over 24 hours. i'm dizzy. tashi would not sleep on the flight and was up for a good 24 hours herself. she's now crashed out on a bench. with my mom watching over her.

this airport is more like a shopping mall. a really expensive shopping mall. i never thought i would do such a thing, but i paid money to take a shower. after virginia humidity it was worth it. there are some fine showers in heathrow airport.

more soon from the next internet cafe!

midnight passage before little sleep followed by departure

today has been a surreal dissolving of one thing into the next. the rain turns into a broken cup.

packed and ready i am reminded of a box that belongs, now -- to a ghost.

a train crawls above the abyss, where one mountain joins another. . .

in the light of eternity i come back to myself, my small self. with a big bag packed full. under rain that makes heavy. the just-that-dark way of the clouds.

secret title: "i fed the assassin's horse"

hekatombs of blog

soon, i will breath in the mythical night. i will witness the dry eroded circumstance.

i will look into the eyes of the painter, the photographer and the reporter.

i will step into the vaults of the venetian wall.

i will massage the sun baked stone with my painted-toenail-toe.

i will face the moon carved sea and ask her to guide me.

rain, rain, come our way

hello from hotsville.

all week the forecast has been building up to an expected rain. it was supposed to commence on saturday and then on friday, first around 5:00 then around noon. but when i got out of work today i thought to myself, it's friday, after five, the sky is a picture of tender blue serenity, and off i pedalled to the charlottesville pavilion to hear eric lindell from new orleans. well first i had to shop around a bit for the fambly in cyprus. must arrive bearing gifts. then i had a spinach salad at eppies. by the time i arrived at the pavilion mr. lindell was well into his set and took a break after two songs. it sounded good and i was looking forward to more.

then i noticed people looking up at the sky and cocking their heads and speaking to one another in ominous tones. just because there were dark clouds to the south, east and north didn't necessarily mean rain, did it? i mean, there were no dark clouds to the west, where the weather is born. i decided to ignore everyone's fretting until somone said loudly, "we're going to get slammed." i didn't want to ride home in a thunder storm or a torrential downpour so i hauled ass out of there and arrived home to the hum of thunder. and then some fat drops fell. but as i write, there is still nothing to say i could not have survived another set of mr. lindell.

oh well. the cats were hungry and yelling at me anyway.

and i think the big pyrotechnic sigh of relief is coming our way. i hope so. because i couldn't even sleep in our bedroom last night, so much like an attic in the sahara it was. are there any attics in the sahara? well mine is.

ok, well, i think i'm going to go sit on the deck in the slow drops of rain and watch the storm roll in. happy weekend!

winding down or winding up

yup, just one week from today and it's airplane time. i try not to think about that part. even though i've traveled a lot, i've never been one to attest to a love of flying. especially in the new millenium. so we won't think about airplanes until we're on the way to the airport. i worry about cars too. especially when i have to drive them on the opposite side of the road.

over the weekend i was invited to local astrologer molly cliborne's house for a barbecue. the remarkable thing is that molly and i had never met, we'd merely exchanged a few words via the blog. but this kind trusting soul invited a complete stranger into her house for dinner, and i'm ever so glad. not only did i get to meet molly, who i'm certain is an extraordinary astrologer, i got to meet her boyfriend john, who will sell you a nice house if you'd like, and their groovy friend visiting from dc, christine davis, who is a massage therapist and dance instructor. cool things happened. like i found out that christine was born three days after me in the same year. and i was given a tour of molly's herb garden, where i saw lots of old friends, like nettle and yellow dock and red clover and passion flower vine and mullien and echinacea and catnip and comfrey, to name just a few. and i saw a bat and a cat and ate organic chicken cooked on a grill. i got to converse about doula stuff and cosmic stuff. i didn't get to see stevie the cat pee or poop in the toilet though, which she does regularly. but i'm so happy to have met some nice new friends. thanks molly!

on sunday i took the class christine davis was in charlottesville to teach, afri-cardio dance. i love it and would like to do it more, even if i am a klutz and not very polyrhythmic. darrell rose played djembe. as the dave matthews band website says, darrell rose is the "best african percussionist you're likely to find in the deep south." and he plays on the downtown mall almost every friday. it was good fun.

otherwise i've been working, and making neat little piles of things that i will take on my trip, and riding my bike back and forth, and purchasing things like razors and shaving cream and tampons and travel packets of kleenex and a multitude of airplane snacks. oh and i put together a binder of activities for tashi: coloring book pages, word searches, crossword puzzles, etc.

last night i watched a movie by cypriot director michael cacoyannis called, iphigenia, based on a tragedy by euripides about agememnon having to sacrifice his innocent young daughter so that the gods & goddesses would bring wind to the greek army, freeing them to set sale to troy. it was rather beautiful and sad and exciting and well done. plus it featured the music of mikis theodorakis, a righteous peace-loving greek composer.

and could it be hotter? why yes, it could. just add 90% humidity to the 90 degree temperature and you've got a mean southern summer.

anyhow, happy solstice.

Happy Father's Day

to the fathers in my life: my own father in new york city. the father of my child, currently in milwaukee. wishing you a sunny relaxing day full of creativity and smiles. wish i could give you both big hugs on this day, massage your feet, serve you breakfast in bed. but hopefully you can feel my love and admiration wash over the miles and flow into your hearts. thanks for all that you do. cheers!

a really old poem

girl still


time medic ticks root scrawl
girl still canvassing snarl
palpitations in pulp
gnash petal twist on sallow
salt lick clicks in-hall
in hillock kicking
warblers explode on over

on over warblers explode
vacillating hillocks fall dune
smoldering petals pigment
in-hall receding lick
canvas rolled scroll
ravels binding time
medics tick gnash and pulp
girl still quivering ash


zoe krylova, 1991

quiet as a mouse in my little house

this morning dan and tashi departed for wisconsin, leaving me alone in the red dust of charlottesville. since i'm already taking a month off of work to go to cyprus, i couldn't really add a trip to wisconsin on top of that.

once when i was a single woman i really savored my solitude. but i guess i've gotten pretty used to having either dan or tashi or both around. it was slightly eerie coming home to a house that would be inhabited by only me and two cats for almost two weeks. usually when i get home i launch into cooking an often elaborate dinner while listening to npr. today i ate tortilla chips and guacamole while watching the bbc on tv. after dinner is when we give tashi a bath. instead i gave myself a bath. usually around 7:30 we ask tashi to put on her pj's. instead i put mine on. and then we read to tashi, though tonight i simply read to myself. so eeriness turned to ease. though i already miss the hugs, the operatic singing and the very wet kisses. i was relieved around 8pm to hear two sweet voices on the phone safe at their stop-over in ann arbor.

my only vehicle is a bike while dan and tashi are away so i plan to get some exercise. hopefully that and the less elaborate meals will make some room for all the souvlaki, mousaka, village bread, haloumi cheese and fresh fish i plan to eat in cyprus.

we will leave for cyprus just a couple of days after dan and tashi return. june 28th to be exact. i haven't finished the iliad. and i haven't brushed up on my greek. maybe on the airplane?!?!

sunday spin

not that i have anything to say.

we're in the full swing of summer here, though the last couple of days have been delightfully cool. tashi had her last day of school on wednesday when we got to see her whole school pull out some great performances for the closing ceremony. we celebrated with lunch at milan, a favorite indian restaurant.

yesterday we went to the virginia renaissance faire in spotsylvania. it was probably the smallest ren faire i've ever been to, but fun and easy. we saw a recorder duet, a juggler/fire eater/contortionist dude, several young "highland dancers", a hammered dulcimer fellow, some nice lady singers, a knightly man and his wife, two pretty horses, several trippy alpacas, queen elizabeth, and mad maggie who was dragging around a bone on a rope.

today was a day of too much shopping, looking for gifts for various family members who have graduated or having an anniversary or will be celebrating a birthday or are fathers. we made the majority of our purhchases at the ten thousand villages shop which is all about fair trade goods. look for the ten thousand villages nearest you.

here is a story about an orange tabby like ours. grrrrrrrrrrrr!

WEST MILFORD, N.J., June 9, 2006 — At least one bear doesn't want to know Jack.

Jack is a 10-year-old, orange-and-white tabby in West Milford, N.J. And when the cat spotted the bear in a neighbor's yard earlier this week, the clawless kitty let the bear know who's boss.

The bear scurried up a tree and eyed the cat for 10 to 15 minutes, while Jack stared and hissed from the ground. The bruin inched its way down before jumping off and running away.

But Jack chased the bear into the brush and up another tree.

That's when Jack's owner realized what was happening and called her cat.

Jack's owner, Donna Dickey, told The Star-Ledger of Newark that Jack considers the area his turf and doesn't want anyone in his yard.

for the love of the weekend

oh the gloriousness of the beingness

last night we went to the pavilion for charlottesville's fridays after five. a grateful dead cover band called alligator was playing. at first i was grossed out by my own middle aged predicament. the band started and at the same time i saw three menopausal women in their office clothes dance a grateful dead dance complete with wavy hand gestures. it just kinda made me not want to go there. but really i have no choice in the matter do i?

so i played chase with tashi on the grassy embankment between the pavilion and belmont and about four songs before the concert ended i realized that really, this was a damn good jam band. i'd had enough red hook to make up for the lack of anything else and tashi was willing to dance with me and so we spun and grooved and then a kick ass thunder storm moved in and the whole audience crowded together and kids were laying down in torrents of water stained with red virginia earth and lightening was making a strobe and the south cooled off by about twenty degrees and the band was doing a good job imitating a job well done and the audience for a moment became one writhing entity. really it was a fine climax.

on the way home we saw the vulgar bulgars, a local klezmer band, performing in a doorway and so we stopped and boogied for a moment. and then we saw some african drummers and tribal dancers performing in another doorway and my heart yearned to do one or the other: play my djimbay or do an ancient dance. instead i said, "wow, what a mad little town we live in," and felt incredibly inspired.

today i went to an end of the year party at the home of one of tashi's classmates. there was a pool and a lake and horses and a hot tub. but what really made things come full circle is that the song playing when we walked into the party was saint stephen by the grateful dead.

i drank a good amount of white wine and talked with some very interesting people. i got to know some awesome parents who like to live a little on the wild side and this to me was a big relief. then i tried to commune with a horse. he was such a stud. he looked my way, walked my way a bit, ate some grass, and then sauntered off to drink some water. he looked back my way and then did quite a fast trot in the opposite direction. later i saw him down pretty close to the fence where i'd been standing. he was flirting with me, but really, he wasn't going to give me the time of day. never the less, it deepend my determination to become friends with a horse.

becoming friends with a horse. that's got to be part of the charlotteville experience.

and then we came home and there was a huge fireworks display. i saw the grand finale from my deck. june 3? fireworks? the connection is not apparent. but it was a good end to a good saturday. even better is that there is a sunday yet to come.

arrival departure arrival

one of the myths behind why i do not spend enough time creating things is that my office is too cluttered and therefore not a functional workspace. it is my goal in the next couple of weeks to make my office less cluttered. the main motive behind this goal is that my mother will be living in here for a month in august. but i figure i will ultimately benefit by having a less distracting workspace once it's all mine again. it's tough having an office that is also a linen closet, a house overflow bin and a guest room. but i guess it's better than not having an office at all.

well so the other day -- may 30th to be exact -- while i was cleaning things out and rearranging i came across a bunch of folders full of poems that someone might notice once i'm dead. a poem was sticking out of one of the folders so i pulled it out and read it. the date of the poem was may 30th, 2005, exactly one year ago to that day. to commemorate the passing of the year (+) i will print the poem here. it is not my best work but it brings back happy memories of dancing late into the night with good friends while tending to an herb garden by day.

Arrival

she is alive

barefoot in full skirt and blazing

a spindle
a candle

she is rattling rib cage
pounding at toes
bunching hair into tossed locks

she is whispering

feel this now
give this now
bring it bring it

hips and brain might
miscommunicate
yet heart knows

the beat

motherwort and hawthorn
nurture pulse and pump
make sure
pulp is plump

she is writ on parchment
coiled and golden
incessant code

engulfed by wide
folds of fine

arms rise

ripple of starlight
dawn give forth slice of citrus
moon massage knit brow

tusillago farfara
announces
fresh season

all souls bask

tipped chin
asks of tentative climate
a seedpod's wish

drawn to stream of her song
thatch thumps
gesture for gesture
nettle initiates sting

dinner at daylight
landscape of skin
thicket


-- Zoe Krylova 5.30.05